Hello Big Brother Big Sister,
Many may be yearning for a father, but for some reason, I don’t even want to acknowledge I still have him. I went from dreaming about doing all I missed without him to not being able to stand the opportunity of someone asking me about my father. I won’t say I hate him, but what can I do to prevent my inner self from embracing this hatred?
Dean anonymous,
I can only imagine the depth of what you’re going through. Your acknowledgment that, “for some reason,” you don’t want to know about your father is a significant starting point. To mitigate the feelings, you’re experiencing, you need to address the root cause. Seek closure by talking to your mother or another close family member. There may be underlying reasons behind your father’s actions that contribute to your feelings. If you genuinely want to avoid harboring hate, consider finding a way to understand him better.
If the idea of confronting him seems daunting, think about whether this is the feeling you genuinely want to carry within you. If you feel comfortable, approach him in a disciplined and respectful manner. Remember, he’s still your father. If direct communication doesn’t yield results, focus on your own healing. Recognize that the process of healing is gradual and may involve some pain. Seek support from those close to you, and don’t underestimate the power of prayer in finding closure.
If your father doesn’t play an active role or show care, redirect your focus to the good, supportive, and loving people around you. Cultivate gratitude for the positive influences in your life. Consider asking God for the grace to forgive; forgiveness is a journey that requires grace and willingness. Strive to become a better person, transcending the pain inflicted upon you. Extend love to those in similar situations, as helping others can accelerate your own healing.
Remember, actions speak louder than words. Start the journey within yourself, motivate yourself daily, and give this profound thought. May God guide you through this challenging journey of self-discovery and healing.
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